King of the Hill

Chapter 1



AgentE382 is a mild-mannered, successful merchant who lives in a large house just outside of a rather smallish town. The house in which he lives is large enough to require a housekeeper, some groundskeepers and gardeners, and 2 gatekeepers. AgentE382 owned a trading company, which possessed many offices worldwide, at least one per country. After he founded his firm, it quickly became known for its lightning-fast service.

One dark, rainy night, a pickup truck speeded down a road which ran through a small town. As the truck rocketed through the town square, a man was in the process of crossing the street. The driver did not see the man until it was too late. The truck skidded forward because of the rain, even though the brake was fully engaged. After he stopped the truck, the driver hurriedly leaped from the vehicle and frantically searched to ascertain whether the man was injured. To his surprise, there was no man to be found. The man he had almost hit was nowhere to be found. This puzzled the driver, for he was certain that there had been a man there a moment before. The driver blinked a few times, shrugged his shoulders, and got back in the truck.

That night, precisely at midnight, AgentE383 was rudely awoken by a telephone call. The caller masked his voice and simply said "Give up your hills or else!", after which he hung up. 15 minutes later, he received another call, and this went on every 15 minutes until 6:00 in the morning. All of the calls were from different numbers and there were different callers every time. HawkBlade and SniperInYourMidst received similar calls that night.

I got up after the 3rd call and un-plugged my phone line g'nite

Our Hills
Biggest Valley

On the second call, I ask the person why he wants me to give up my hills.

Our Hill
Biggest Hill

after a wonderful un-disturbed sleep, I go out into my valley and play and fish alllllll day

Chapter 2



The night after the mysterious telephone calls, AgentE383 was rudely awaken by his most trusted aide crashing up the stairs and into his room, shouting "Sir, sir!" at the top of his lungs. The aide quickly handed a piece of paper to AgentE383, who promptly blinked several times and read the message. After which, he blinked again, read the message and inquired of his aide: "Is this a joke?". The aide exclaimed "No joke, sir!", they both ran down the stairs, out the door, and into the aide's car, then drove off at high speed.

The message read:

To AgentE383, leader of our hill empire.

Sir, you must come to our headquarters immediately. Our largest hill has been attacked. The base securing that hill has been destroyed, and analysis indicates that the forces of HawkBlade are responsible. It seems that commandos sneaked in aboard a routine shipment of supplies. The team snuck in to the shield generator room and detonated charges to destroy it. They disappeared and we assume they escaped. After the shield was destroyed, our base was attacked by precision artillery strikes to disable our defenses, then carpet-bombed. We need your decision on what to do concerning this outrage.

Your humble servant,

General Andrew Donaldson

A couple of hours earlier, SniperInYourMidst was just about to leave his headquarters when one of his technicians shouted out: "Incoming emergency message from base 001! Displaying on main monitor!". The base commander appeared and said: "Mayday, mayday! This is General Calerton, commander of base 001! We are under attack!". The commander stopped, turned, and shot a passing enemy, then turned back to the screen and said: "As you can see, HawkBlade's men are assaulting us! We've been overrun, I've ordered a retreat! They snuck in from the sewers and water drainage systems. There's hundreds of them! The base is on fire, they killed half of our men before we could prevent it, and there are more coming!". After this statement, the cameraman was shot and, general picked it up and shouted: "Get us reinforcements!" The camera went black. Everyone stood in a stunned silence.

At four o'clock that morning, HawkBlade's formerly very peaceful valley began flooding. All of the dams had been destroyed and explosions could be heard where the gaps were being widened and new ones created. HawkBlade started evacuating the valley. On their way out of the valley, they ran into one of the excavation parties. None of them were caught, but all of the equipment was left. The equipment was AgentE383's. Snipers started trying to pick off some of HawkBlade's men until HawkBlade called in a napalm strike that obliterated the small forest they were hiding in. HawkBlade found a sniper rifle, bent and twisted, a little further along the path. The mark was still barely distinguishable. It was the emblem of SniperInYourMidst. These were SniperInYourMidst's men, HawkBlade was sure.

---

When AgentE383 reached his base, he instantly ordered all hills to be put on full alert and demanded intelligence and situation reports. Then, he waited.

SniperInYourMidst ordered reinforcements for his men, but by the time they arrived, base 001 was destroyed, the invaders were gone, and most of his men were wounded or dead. The medics instantly went to work. After that, all bases were ordered to full alert and searches were begun. SniperInYourMidst passed the night in his headquarters, gathering data on the incident.

HawkBlade retreated to another secret base and awaited the dawn.

I couldn't, wouldn't believe that HawkBlade would do such a thing. While I waited for intelligence reports, I made a phone call to HawkBlade. He answered and I had to restrain myself from just letting HawkBlade have it. Instead of yelling, I asked HawkBlade in measured tones, "This is SniperInYourMidst, I have been receiving reports that your men attacked one of my forward bases. I have no proof of this being your work, and I don't want to believe it, but if you didn't do it, who did?" HawkBlade sounded strained as he responded "I didn't do it. In fact, I was going to ask you the same question. My valley was flooded and snipers using rifles YOU made attempted to pick off my men as we were evacuating." HawkBlade sounded as if he too was restraining himself from just blowing up in anger. This fact helped me calm down. I knew I hadn't done what HawkBlade said, and now that I knew that he had been just as savagely attacked, I felt better. "This is odd, I know I didn't authorize those snipers, but I did have a shipment of M95s stolen about a month ago." "We should call AgentE383 and see what he has to say." "Good idea, hold on while I get him on the line." I punched the FLASH button on my phone and dialed AgentE383's main base phone number in. I was in luck. AgentE383 was so anxious for news about his situation, that he answered directly instead of having his aide answer. "Hello?" AgentE383 said. I responded "Hello AgentE383, this is SniperInYourMidst. HawkBlade and I want to ask you something." At the sound of HawkBlade's name, AgentE383 became edgy. Through gritted teeth, AgentE383 said "What might that be?" Before I could answer, HawkBlade jumped in, "We want to know if anyone attacked you recently." "Oh yes I have. HawkBlade should know all about it." "What is that supposed to mean?" "You are the one who attacked me!" AgentE383 was getting angrier by the minute. I stepped in "Hey guys, we are not here to fight...yet. Now, we cannon prove anyth-" I was interrupted by AgentE383's angry yell "Oh yes I can! My intel people identified HawkBlade as the source of the attack!" AgentE383 was in full broil now and it took the greater portion of five minutes to calm him back down. Then I continued "We cannot prove anything. HawkBlade was attacked by snipers that were using my rifles, I was attacked by people also thought to be from HawkBlade. Do you think he can send that many soldiers to two places at once? No offense, HawkBlade." "None taken." AgentE383 thought for a minute then said "I see what you mean. Obviously these attacks were to separate us so that it would be easier to kill us." HawkBlade and I were stunned. I hadn't thought of that. I actually hadn't thought of anything yet. HawkBlade voiced his shock "You're right! The divide and conquer trick!" AgentE383 had regained his trust in us and we were now planning out our revenge just like in the good old days.

then a strike trooper comes up with a sniper rifle and shoots all of your guys My hill

What he shot were actually dummies of us. HawkBlade drops down behind him and cuts him to pieces!



OUR HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then mobius 1 napalms you





my hill

catches ur grenades and throws em right back atcha! buh bye strike!

did not say my hill. those were napalm bombs

my hill

ok then I catch ur bombs and throw em back

Our Hills!

I blast Strike in the head after he has been incinerated.

Our hills!!!!!!!!

then mobius 1 nukes you and the bomb exolodes 100 ft. above you my hill

Then I burst in to flames and burn you up. my hill

then mobius 1 drops alot of water on you.


my (wet) hill

But you forgot about the radiation, so your skin melts off your bones, you go blind, then you wander around until finally, you collapse in a puddle of your own waste. Then Sniper, HawkBlade, and I walk up in radiation suits. (What you nuked were robots.)


OUR HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now we wait for AgentE382 to continue the story line he has been developing.

What?

Did you notice the great big post that AgentE382 made? That was a little story in King of the Hill he was developing. The reason he hasn't posted for a bit is because of problems logging in. I thought it would be a good idea to wait until he can get back on to post.

but mobius 1 was in a rad proof plane


my hill

But not SAM proof! Your plane was toasted by Surface-to-Air Missiles!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!

Our Hill!

okay so i ask gorge lucas if i can use his life size models of the CIS* troops and vehicles. he says yes. so i make 5,000,000 troops and 1,000,000 vehicles and they attack you and destroy you and then renforcements come



my (star wars) hill.






*droids from star wars

I hack into the Control Ships and install and run Program 66 which is the droid version of Emperor Sidious' Order 66. After the program has been launched, your troops turn on you and blow you to pieces. Then the Clone Army comes and the droids ally themselves with them. Bwahahahahahahahaha!!

My Hill!!!!!!!

Sniper you naughty boy! I reverse time sending the droids and clones back to George Lucas.

Our hills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was not naughty, I was just trying to restore order to the hills. Thank you finally ridding us of conflict.

Our Hills!